There are
times when I feel like I've been conned. I
distinctly despise that feeling.
Being a person of above average intelligence it's a point of pride to keep
thinking to myself that I am not going to let someone take the better of me. Well,
that is something which is easier said than done in India. And I am not
referring to falling victim to one of the numerous fraudsters prowling around over here.
Oh no, an article on that topic is going to turn into a novel if someone takes
the pains to write it.
There are other
things, small things, which keep happening day in and day out here. People who
respect moral values and politeness are mocked at in every turn of the road.
Everyone sees it. Everyone knows about it. But no one really bothers to think
about it. A feeling of complacence has set over the average Indian population
regarding the loss of decency in everyday life.
"India
brings out the bastard in every one of us" -
this was one of the wise
cracks I heard in my first year in college and along with the rest, I laughed
too. I never spared much thought about it because, well, having spend most of
my school life abroad I didn't know the way things rolled here.
First year
in India to me was like an Industry grade
siren wailing in the ears of a sleeping
child. Cocooned by the comforts of an upper middle-class family settled abroad,
my parents had brought me up to be
"The Good Guy". They taught me to respect elders. Help someone
who seems to be in trouble. Treat girls with respect and care. Speak gently to
all. Follow the rules. What they didn't teach me was that none of this is
really going to do me any good in a world of Hypocrites where earnestness and
morality is a joke. Needless to say I learned the hard way that 'The Good Guy'
doesn't last long in India.
I was on my
way to the movies one day. Like most of the college crowd, my mode of transportation
was a rickety old bus. The bus was not very crowded and I found a seat. After a
few more halts the bus got pretty packed. As I looked, I saw an old man who was
having a hard time dealing with the twists and turns of the hilly roads which
lead to the city from my college. I waved at him and got up to offer him my
seat. The moment my ass left the seat, it was replaced by the ass of Mr.
Mustache who was standing right by me.
The old man gave me a look and smiled. I tried to look at Mr. Mustache but he
was religiously looking out of the window and avoiding eye contact of any kind.
What surprised me most was the shamelessness of the action rather than the
gravity of it. This was one of the first
setbacks in my attempts to live up to 'The good guy' code my parents taught me.
Another
concept which is alien to us is the concept of
queues. Public queue system in
India is a joke (with the notable exception of wine-shop queues but that is a
different story). When a pack of wolves or a pride of lions kill, there is an
orderly manner in which all the members claim their share of the meat. Though
this is not exactly a queue, it is some form of order in the natural world
without which chaos would prevail. In India you wouldn't find any such order while the most dangerous
animal of them all hunts for a rickshaw or a ticket at a railway reservation
counter. I understood this after waiting for more than 4 hours in an SBI bank
to get my check encashed.
Though all this
seems like trivial incidents in a bored
cynic's life, the fact of the matter is
that these basic attributes which is expected to be the norm in a developed
society, is absent in India. All these have a 'broken-window effect' which
ultimately leads to the prevalence of issues of a more serious nature.
Why is it
that an Indian is a model citizen in other
countries of the world? Why are
women reluctant to walk alone after sunset or as some of the cases indicate,
even in broad day light? Why do we turn a blind eye to widespread nepotism and
state regulated favoritism? How does our elected leaders have the guts to pull
of multi-million dollar scams with our hard earned money? These are grave
issues and it would be foolhardy to associate them to a single root cause. That
being said, I feel that the falling moral standards among the citizenry of our
nation may be one of the main reasons leading up to these more serious plights.
After a year
of my stay in India I slowly caught on
the joke. I was given a crash course by
life on how things work here. In retrospect I realized that the reason why I
never get anything done here in a decent amount of time is not because I did
something wrong, but because I did something right. When you try to live up to
a moral code in a society that laughs at it, you are bound to run into a lot of
road blocks which eat into your time and money. But does this mean you have to
change the way you are? Well I guess that is really a personal choice. All I
know is I still spend a lot of time in the non moving end of a queue. Most of
my bus journeys are on foot and my interactions with others remain (mostly)
cordial. I haven't learned anything that Mother India tried to teach me. I am
still in on the con, but now at least I am aware of its existence. Not that it
feels any better.
I was once
waiting in Dubai my connection flight to Qatar. My ever thinning mask of
decency was still intact enough, despite my experiences. And that was why I
moved my bags from the place next to me as a foreigner was looking around for a
seat. We struck up a conversation and he told me he was just returning from a 2
year overseas deputation from a reputed foreign bank which was trying
desperately to grow its roots in India. After a few minutes, as is customary, I asked him how his stay in India was and did
he like our country. Being a gentleman he did not explicitly share his feelings
with me. He took his tab and wrote down the following.
INDIA : I'll Never Do It Again.
I don't have
a solution. But at least I am completely convinced that we, as a nation, have a
problem in our hands. Which is more than what can be said for 70% of our so
called educated masses. We have to understand that cultural degradation is a
problem which requires some serious introspection. Our generation is slowly succumbing
to complete egotism. The longer we remain aloof to this, the harder it becomes
to pull out of a quickly descending communal spiral.
The one line guide to surviving in India- "seedhi ungli se ghee na nikle, toh ungli tedhi kar leni chahiye". I'm glad you shared this, I'm sure most of us, including me think the same way- but don't have the words to express it.
ReplyDeleteWell-written Govi, and a pertinent issue indeed. Just remember that the problem stems from the fact that there are few resources and too many takers. Decency is often a luxury most people in India cannot afford, and so, the indecencies. I am not at all trying to say it is OK, but this understanding has helped me tolerate it better, as it may you. Hope you will continue to be the 'good' person, and never let bitterness or cynicism get the better of you, ever.
ReplyDeleteCheers to your writing. Please keep it going... :-)
Education is not enough- holistic education is. A frog in a well thinks that this is the way things are done everywhere so do the Indians who have no knowledge about the ways of the outer world. We don't spend time to introspect or retrospect, but we are blindly proud of our age-old traditions and regression towards that. Even I don't have a solution to propose, but I want us and the future generations to explore the world and understand that there are better ways to live on this planet.
ReplyDeleteI have another point of view...probably because I am someone who grew up in India and went out of the country at a much later stage in life. First of all our public behavior was not like this while I was growing up. It has been progressively getting bad...almost in proportion with our growing rich as a country. Yes, Indians are much more richer than they were about 20 - 30 years ago. Whatever is wrong with our systems, this growing rich is not limited to upper cast/well to-do Indians. It has percolated down. I believe what we see now is everyone trumpeting his own arrival, probably subconsciously fighting various types of oppression. This will pass. But, I still think this behaviour is not as vicious as that shown by many of the countries inhabited by "decent, well mannered, developed" people who systematically work on conquering and annihilating less advanced countries for their own advantage. So, what or who is better? Do you want India to be a country of well behaved people who does not give a damn about who their country tramples....or a country of ill mannered people that do care fr others around them????
ReplyDeleteWe can be ourself.Changing others is not that easy. Proud to be our self..Keep it up
ReplyDelete